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Poem for cat
And God asked the feline spirit, are you ready to come home? Oh, yes, quite so, replied the precious soul, and as a cat, you know I am most able to decide anything for myself.
Are you coming then? asked God. Soon, replied the whiskered angel, but I must come slowly, for my human friends are troubled. For you see, they need me, quite certainly.
But don't they understand? asked God, that you will never leave them? that you souls are intertwined for all eternity? that nothing is created or destroyed? It just is..forever and ever and ever.
Eventually they will understand, replied the glorious cat. For I will whisper into their hearts that I am always with them. I just am..forever and ever and ever.
~~~Author Unknown~~~
Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest,
unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food,
or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a
straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change
direction.
Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters
attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the
fabric.
Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler
body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the
cat.
Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance
proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
Law of Cat
Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position
as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for
the cat.
Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to
reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on
it.
Law of Cat Obstruction
A cat must lay on the floor in such a
position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.
Law of
Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets
good and ready to stop.
Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must
attend all meals when anything good is served.
Law of Rug
Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very
long.
Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in
proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.
First Law of
Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor
destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as
possible.
Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy
can only be stored by a lot of napping.
Law of Refrigerator
Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come
along and take out something good to eat.
Law of Electric Blanket
Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the
speed of light.
Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek,
and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given
room.
Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must
contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
Law of Cat
Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to
her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
Law of Milk
Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you
he can.
Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch
furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
Law
of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible;
often the midsection of an unsuspecting, reclining human.
Law of Fluid
Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus
the amount of milk consumed.
Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest
level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends
in trying to interest him.
Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a
cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Law of Cat
Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Antimatter = It Doesn't
Matter